vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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