Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
