I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
