Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
