this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
