Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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