at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize