24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
