I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
