its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
