I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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