did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
