thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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