her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Randomize