Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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