We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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