If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My balls are so social today.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize