hotel room ftw
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
