wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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