If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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