i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
