why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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