Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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