This girl is more easily done than said...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
