My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
