i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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