I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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