you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
