BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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