I could make wine with my vomit
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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