My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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