I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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