nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
