HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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