Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
