they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
