she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
