i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
