he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
