last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
