im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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