what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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