Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
