i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
