You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
