to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
