Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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