tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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