I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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