I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
