God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
