Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
