I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
