I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
