There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
