will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize