I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
