i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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