Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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