i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Who died my cat blue again?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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