3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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