new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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