Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
