Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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