I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
