help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
