I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
