you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
