Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
