When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
