Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize