If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
